Why do I keep chasing a love I KNOW I'll never have?

"I do love you, but I don't love you like this."
"You don't love me?"
"No I don't. I don't love you like this."

Does THAT sound like unconditional love?
Does THAT sound like something a mother would say to her daughter?

Someone please tell me why my INSANE mind keeps thinking she'll change??????????? Because I KNOW she won't. I know that she doesn't HAVE the ABILITY to love ANYONE that way, yet, I still keep chasing it and wanting it no matter how much I allow her to continue to hurt me. Because I love HER that way. I love HER unconditionally, no matter WHAT she does, says, etc.

I know that I'm a "difficult person" to deal with and love, but, I shouldn't have to BEG for love from a parent. All along I have known that she doesn't love me unconditionally, but I NEVER thought I'd hear her say the actual words "I don't love you"...whether they're followed by, "...like this" or not, it's STILL hurtful. And by "like this", she means she doesn't love the addict, eating disorder Michelle. But, I love the addict, alcoholic HER! I love her "like this".