Lost it all!

I have lost everything I worked so hard for. I got frostbite on my feel last Thursday. I saw the orthopedic doctor today and he said there are a few toes that I do not have sensation in like I should so I am not out of the woods as far as losing them. I can't work now. And then I will be starting a six week intensive outpatient treatment program for Anorexia. So, I'll be out of work when I do that. I'm going to be out of work for a few months now. I worked so hard to get that job. I love that job and I love the girls that I work for (I work in a residential group home for young girls). Now, all of a sudden I'm out of THEIR lives, just like their parents have done to them-been in and out of their lives and I'm supposed to be their counselor and now, I feel like I'm walking out on them and disappointing them. They need consistency and I've just done the complete opposite. Go me, what a loser. And my mother...all she can do is yell at me and yell at me. She works in the orthopedic office I went to for my feet and she was all pissy so I asked her, "What is wrong?" Her reply...."What do you want from me?" all snotty and mean. All I said was, "unconditional love" and she shut the window in my face and said, "bye bye". This is hard enough, I don't need my own mother hating me...I'm so dumb. I know this is how she is. She's been like this forever, yet, each time my dumb ass thinks that MAYBE, just maybe, it'll be different this time. Guess not.
I worked my ass off to get where I am right now...just got a raise...and now, it's all down the toilet. I lost everything I worked so hard for, that easily...over frostbitten feet and Anorexia, an eating disorder that is recognized as an addiction. People can get pissed at me and say, "just eat. It's that simple" Sorry guys, but, it isn't just THAT simple. It isn't a light switch. If I could control it, I would. My mindset has to change and I'm no longer ashamed to say that I need help with it. And if you've never suffered with addiction or an eating disorder and you have nothing to say except things like, "just EAT, it's simple", then keep your comments to yourself. I used to think the same thing. How could someone NOT eat? I LOVE to eat! I could never ignore the hungry feeling. Well, it's just not like that. So, if you can't be supportive and all you can do is put me down and tell me how stupid I'm being and tell me how it's easy and that all I have to do is eat, then your comments are not welcome. Thanks.