I HATE YOU!

This has been the worst year of my life. And I don't know what to do anymore. I tried to do things, I tried to change things, I tried to force happiness in my life...and I just can't do it. I want to be happy so bad. I really do. And I've made honest attempts to do so. But every time I get one step ahead, I fall two steps behind. I want my grandmother. And right now, I hate God for taking her from me. Did you hear that God? I fucking hate you for taking my grama from me. She was the only person I ever trusted 100%, the only person I could go to ANYTHING with and you took that away from me when you took HER away from me. What...did you want me to feel what you did when you sacrificed your son??? I thought you already did that to me when you took MY son from me. I hate you for taking my grama from me, and on my birthday???? You just had to take her away from me on my birthday and on my dad's anniversary. WHY? I want to know WHY??????????????????????????????????????????????? Why would you take someone from this Earth that would do ANYTHING for anybody? Why would you take such a great person away from the people who love her? Do you know how many people loved that woman???????????????? More than you can count. And you took her away from ALL of them. I hate you for that. I hate you for that. I hate you for that. I don't have anyone to go to anymore. I don't have anyone I can trust 100% anymore. It didn't matter what you did, my grama always loved you unconditionally, no matter WHO you were! And you're an asshole for taking her from me. That promise I made is so hard to keep...I struggle with it every day. But, I won't break it Grama, because I promised you. God, I'm gonna hate you for a long time for taking my grandmother from me...someone who would do ANYTHING she could to help me and my children. Someone who loved ME unconditionally...no one else loves me that way...no one else in this world loved me the way my grandmother did and you TOOK THAT AWAY FROM ME on my BIRTHDAY! I hate you!