I don't know what to do

I'm starting to get anxious. I'm due to be discharged from the ED tx program towards the end of next week. I totally don't feel ready, but, I don't have a choice though. I'm being discharged due to my insurance. They won't cover anymore tx, even if they say I need it. All of my ambivalence over this is inadvertently causing me to want to restrict, even though I know that's not a good, healthy behavior. Within the structured environment I can do it. But, without that structure, I'm scared to death. I'm afraid that I'll drop right back into my old behaviors and start restricting, even though I can see that I looked horribly thin when I did that. I'm very fearful and very afraid, even though I have the skills to do what I need to do. I'm scared to death, literally and my fear is very real.